Have not seen my family for god knows how long. It puts a distance from us in a way we can see who they really are. How we grew apart and not the same any more.
Watched an interview about some famous person in HK of how he raise his kids. How he loves both his girl and boy the same. How he laughs at people that thinks boys are so much better. He said those ideas don’t exists anymore. I think he’s right. those ideas died with the people who still thinks that ways. Its goes the way with my Dad.
If he wasn’t so negative on girls, would I be so fierce? Would I accept the fact and grow into the person that I am. I never thought I have the help or fortune that other people have. See how it turns out. I’m on top if wasn’t for the lack of favor that I get. On the other hand , I maybe even be better off with help. Who knows.
How my sister still clings on my Dad. She’s the forever hopeful even when she knows the truth. She’s ever the obedient and follower. Everything that I’m not. How I feel sad for her. She’s controlling like my dad. I don’t know who she is anymore. Its OK, I have no more expectation from her and the further she is away from me the better I accept her as my kin. She grew more and more like my Dad; her selfish way came from somewhere that I don’t recognize. Perhaps the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. It wasn’t her friends who effect her but her Dad.
I’m grateful for the friendship that I have. They make me strong, no matter what happen. I was propped up by them when the sky seems to be the darkest and most hopeless when I was in that rat invested single empty room. They were there to help me. I came out ahead of my siblings. I know I never needed him. They still have such strong connection to him. My poor mother’s life is based on his therefore, she seems even more lost. My life is careless and free, so much possiblities that doesn’t need his approval/comment.
My Blog of living this life 