I remembered wrong about the cut off date from my taned stock that there is a redeemsion deadline. I can get $20 out of it! But I thought the date was much later then that.  They only give us less then a month to turn in the certificate and signiture.  I should have call in for that and wait for it in the mail and then ahev to mail back the papers.  It will take more then a month.  I just picked up the paper and see that the deadline ends today . Impossible to do all that back and forth.  Well, $20 down the drain.

The rain prevents me from going out and shopping fro grocery.  Or I should go yarn shopping again for suzan’s gift basket.  I think I will abandon the silly shawl and start a little neck warmer because I know I can do it easily.

The rain is too long. The upside is, all the flowers that I planted will be OK since I can’t water them without the water source.   Lavender is at home on the rocky soil.  The SG is trainning me to be the most patient person and most positive optimistic.  The little nastursium is a giant now!

Drop by the gem show was a short visit.  I didn’t see much, too many people and they didn’t even bother to collect my ticket.  I saw a lot of new stuffs: Chinese knotted bracelett and earrings too.  $5 -8 is a little pricy for something made of ropes.  The nice bracelette is $10,  I rather have a crystale bracelette.  The crystale hair pins are expensive too.  $10-15

Big slab of glass with glittering foils as pendants. I also saw some shop lifters.  There are just so many people and the sales people are complaining.  I was just too terrified to say anything.  THe woman just swip off with out paying .  The bracelet is not expensive but she took 2.

I got a tiny opal earrings and 2 pendants.  They look real and the lady asks the seller if they are from the same slab of opal and he said yes.  They look like dyed, Australians, set in Thailand, carftsmanship is good.  I saw Kay and she was resetting some jewlery at the stalls.  She looks the same.  She is a real nice person .  Sue and I were just talking about her.

There is a Jo-ann 2 blocks from the show so I dropped by.  They have a bigger yarn racks but not organize at all, with most space empty.  They also have a clearence sales but not as good as the Colma Jo-ann. I bough this Water Wave bonce for $3 and they charged me $4 when I was at the bus stop I found out and ran back to get my money back and missed the bus , the next one is 1 hr later.  My day was gone so easily.  I was going to get something to spoil myself for working hard and putting up with everything, being brave and say no to people who dangle a carot in front of me and I didn’t bite the bait.

Its been a very hectic couple of week,  I burned a mixed CD for Linda , I wonder if she’ll show up for work this week or her time off had started.  I think I have time to put together a knitting gift basket with yarns and knitting needles for Suz since she taugh me how to and always nice to me.

The bum stole my flowers at SG.  They stole a small geranium, or a lavender, I know because they are so full of life and then there is this big hole in the ground, a space where the flower used to be.  Why are people so greedy, so rude, so bad?  Why are they take things that is not theirs and destroy it for other people.  If mother earth can revanage the way we destroy the environment, the human race will surely died.  Human are enemy of nature itself. We consume and waste it for nothing most of the time.  We create garbage and poison.  Bev saw it but didn’t say anything to the bum.  The bum came in too early.  I wasn’t in.  Bev came at 8am. Thankfully that he didn’t take the bigger plants.  I bet he would if he has a shovel.  My geranium is gigantic. The lavenders full of bees. It is a sight to see.  The lavender is so pretty so bright in a dead empty lot with the weed all dead but slowly germinating.  I want to plant lots of feverfews, a sea of lavender and feverfews? I am not discourage since bad things happens to me so often that I know my hard work is often not being rewarded. 

Well, I have decided not to go for the rich guy.  I never have luck with rich guys they are just so snotty.  Some have good manners and impressed me but then of course they think they are so much better then me that they don’t have to respect me or treat me as equal. They think my time is less valuable then theirs.  I long to have a baby but under these kind of strange situations, I don’t think I can go through with it.  I am not attracted to the rich guy.  He is not my type.  I have become very skeptical about people.  It is worse everyday because I am almost always right.  It is a moment of clearity.  I don’t think money will  make my life better.  I choose to live the hard life.  I think there are many turns that I could have changed things but I choose this.   I didn’t bite the bait.  I was extremely tempted but then I flip a coin to decided this and the coin say no.  It settles it for me.  I tread with trepidations.  Since I expect people to be bad, I can prevent bad things from happening to me or other people.  I watch out for others who are more gullible.  I don’t want people to get hurt the way I do.

I have lots of cuttings in my own yard.  They are ready to be planted but I am just too busy to do it.  It is not too late to transplant.  The roses at SG  got the worse hit.  The one that got cut actually has 1 small rose on it.  If the grounds keeper lay their hands off it, it will be rejuvenate.  I believe it will.

Just when life settles in this comfortable state of mundaneness, something bad got to happen.  I am too easy in my own skin.  Isn’t life a constant struggle .  Everytime, you think you have settled a score another one just creeps up???Hummmmm? Well, Linda just told SUzan that she is taking 3 months off of personal reasons and don’t ask why, to respect her privacy???? What in the hell is that? she jut got her medical exam and now this?  This is the gal who won’t take a whole day off.  This is the gal who is the heart of the office.  Without her, I don’t think this office will survive.  The front desk is just so lazy and bitchy.  They are just plotting for fights rather then work.  Gee wiz, I always run to her when I have problems.  I was way too busy to make her the CD for her BD.  I was going to mix some nice French music for her. See, ajhhhhhhh, I wonder if she is there next week. I know she is avoiding us.  I can see her concentration decrease.  Why is the world let something like this happens to someone as nice and wonderful as Linda? This is time that I question about god.  Linda has done nothing but being good.  See, I am just afraid that I die young for nothing and have done a reasonable amount of good.  Who should get sick? The bitches who are always plotting to be mean to nice people..  Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I am mad at the world.

I am beginning to think the hoax on my email was someone who has a crush on me.  I think he is pretending to be someone who he is not and wants to meet me.  Only pleading a sad case can lure me out.  It is so unbelievable that I can’t even laugh.  He is not handsome.  He doesn’t have the look that I am looking for.  It is creepy and the money doesn’t interest me. 

For suzan’s BD, I’ll buy her those Cashmere yarn!  I think she’ll love it. 

DGM was happy that the pt made a point to thank me. OK he didn’t thank her but he made it a case to highlight my work.  DGM told Suzan.  I am not afraid of that crazy bitch.  SHe is not normal.  SHe is actually nice today.  The thanks from pt is what I am living for.  They make me feel like I am needed and means a lot to them that I am there. I know I go unappricated at OS with Dr C.  Her unfound complains are pointless.  I am tired of it. Lots of places the pt loves me.  I should pat myself on the shoulder because I did my taxes and I didn’t have to pay much since I made less this yr. 

My latest knitting project is here!

 

I can’t go back on certain decisions and the Randy thing is just that.  After I decided, there is no turning back.  I was secretly wishing he wants me back saying he will do anything to correct the mistake but no luck.  Geee, all gone down the toilette.  This is how life is.  NO go.

BUt I got a new fridge offere from PG&E.  I almost hanged her up but she continues to talk and I was listening.  I always slam the phone whey they can’t even pronouce your name so they don’t know me therefore, I hang up. It is luck that I didn’t do what I usually do.

Oooooool, I got a freaky email from a woman who ask if I can meet her friend who is dieing of cancer?  He wants a gf.  I don’t think it is a good idea to do that when you have no time to live.  She advertise that he has money. So what?  Most gal finds out he has money they will go for the money and that is it.  They won’t even be nice to him. He is another troll.  His face is puggy, ugly hair.  No way near good looking.  The bone structure makes him gayish.  I am not attrack to his photo.  Money can’t buy you love.  This is more stranger then fiction.  I thought it was a joke but now I saw the photo and more info .  This seems almost real?

Today is a better day then yesterday.  The pt at DGM said I am very good like he just went to top of the line resturant.  He is well dressed tall huge man but he is a baby in the chair.  DGM say thank you before I can answer.  She answers like he said she was good but in fact he didn’t say anything good about here. Hahahahahaha. Then the last pt didn’t want the INvisaline so today just a very light day for us.  DGM ran off at 4:30.  There was a  little break and I got home all dry! yeah!! but was rainning cats and dog all day.

I still have that knot in my stomach. Yup, Oooooool no why did Randy have that Porn collection and so careless that I found out about him?  I know most man have it but to spoil it all so soon.  He sounds down right my type.  Geee, maybe I am over enthusiastic again.  I can’t run into so many Steven/ Michael when they are far too not nice but I thought they were.  Well, it is just my luck wasn’t it?  Maybe the next one is around the corner?  I am dieing to meet a good one.  I don’t want any old and bad temper like #3, he definitely not my type.

 

Have no idea how disappointed I am when I found out that Randy has a porn collection.  I think it is as bad as that exciting man you just met and wants to go out with and then see the dark side of the person.  Like Kerry, or Michael.  The later is suppose to be a businessman who made it on his own but that’s the only good quality about him, he is not good to anyone else but himself. 

I really wants to know Randy and maybe he is the one that’s for me. He is an artist, he seems very soulful, very open-minded and such a good man,  like my prayer was answered.  He is like Aiden in SITC who doesn’t want someone who’s so nice and kind and trustworthy—-NOT.  He used to volunteer or work as first respond rescue! I always want to go out with a EMS, one of those ambulance guys who are just gorgeous.  I feel like a failure and been defeated before I start the fight.  Poor me.  Hope tomorrow I don’t drop the curing light on the floor.  God, I can’t believe I did that.  well, can’t help me. I know it before it did. I hope tomorrow, I won’t loose my head.

Aside from this disaster, the lilies are doing well.  I feed the birds my scraps.  Ooooooo, the garden is lovely in spring like it is a princess who was just woken up. 

It is rainning again.  Good for the garden.  Mom cut the roses like the weeds and didn’t touch the weeds at all.  I am pretty fed up with that.  Someday, I ‘ll have to buy a plot of land just to plant flowers.  oooooooooool, I feel pain that she kills my flowers.

Taxes is a mess. I need to get a different form because of the 1040a doesn’t allow distrubution gain.  I only have a small amont$13 to report.  And I dont think my tax free bond fund needs to be report it. I don’t really know.  Taxes sucks but I don’t trust anyone to do except myself because if  someone takes illegal write offs, I’l be in trouble m=not them.

Bro got a new gf.  No wonder he is trying to be good.

excercising and even wash dishes.  Yup, first time in 10 yrs. clean his room, another first in 15 yrs.  I don’t think she stays all night. When I woke up she is not there.  I think she is a little better then the other ones.  Let’s see how long this one last if she can make him be better then this is good.

It is been an roller coaster will finding the right man.

One min someone seems so exciting then before you know it they are just so shallow full of salesmanship.  They sell themself so well.  They know how to plug you.  I learn that from Sue and Polly.  Pretend to be nice and all that to let your guards down and then go for the kill.  But I hope there is someone genuine and not a skam artist for me.  I am willing to go to another blind-date if there is a chance for me.

I have this nightmare that there are demons sucking people inside this room.  They were first con.  There were voices to call them in and I think bro or sis or some people that I know was screaming when they find out there were monsters.  They were eatten.  I feel the door opened by a gust of strong wind and going to pull me in to even thought I was trying to leave.  I start to think and chant the buddist blessing and the demon left.  They were defeated by me. 2nd bad dream is my parents and I went to uncle’s party while uncles and his new gf leaving to go out to somewhere bring everyone with them.  We just arrived and say isn’t this your wife’s BD party? Then he was embarrassed and left.  I fear their marriage won’t last.  It looks pretty bad.

 

I am in knitting hell.  I have re-read the instruction again but still more lost then before.  47 st is impossible for the long end of the shawl. Not even half of it.  I went to Bev to get the cir needle to make the shawl.  I am still mad that Red Heart cut their skien down 1 oz and call it Super Saver! This is the only co that jack up the price becuse of oil price gone up.  I will buy the wool ones instead of RH because I don’t want to waste my work on cheap yarns.  I am glad that I obstain on buying more yarn for now. So many projects but so little time.  I wish I can make that shawl for Linda’s BD but doesn’t look promising at all unless there is a break through. Still won’t try the cork screw scarf yet.