I am pretty certain that Moni is getting marry soon and even sooner then me.  And she just met my driver for 1 week and everything is in a lightling speed that is so unreal.  Moni keeps saying that it is too good to be true.  But I think it sounds like a fairy tale and romantic

He asked her to moved in with the intend to get married.Since Moni got a busted car, he said she should live with him and then she saved rent and use that money for a new car.  Then after they get married, they will get a new place that Moni can help choose.  Now Moni catch his bus on Enbarcaderro and I don’t see him anymore.  He speeds up to get her there on time.  All the things that they planned sounds so nice.  Moni making dinner.  He asks her to go jogging with him.  Moni does have some extra weight all on her hp and butt.  They are just inseperatable.  He calls her at work all the time.  They were talking calling each other “baby” in front of all the bus passingers.  Oooooooooooooooooool This man bough her flowers and plans to take her Thanksgiving to meet his folks.  So he got it down.

Ch is having the same idea.  Yesterday he was so nice we talk until midnight no doublt that he gots the idea from Tommy.  He wants me to move in with him too.  But today when he calls, he sounds so damn drunk.  I think he is high on pot.  No use talking to him like that.  He makes it sound so good yesterday but today he sounds crazy.  Does he have money or he is lieing to me.  He said his present job is close to $150,000 a yr???  And the new job is no way near it.  He got hired already and he was afraid that they find his credit is bad and won’t hire him. He took leaves of absent from his old job .  Is he doing this for me?  I feel so much pressure.  I am scared  like Moni.  Just talking to him feels good.  Just listening to him talking about it makes me feel that I can’t be closer to getting married then anytime of my life .  Because previously, I don’t have that experience with anyone.  I mean, Am was sweet talking to me bough me flowers and stuff toys and all kinds of nice things.  AM was leading me on, but when I didn’t comply with the sex part he left.  Ch is still around.  He calls me often now,and what do I have to loose????  What is holding me back is just plain fear.  Like if I just go with him, I won’t have a place to go back to.  Love is for the brave.  I have told Moni that she can’t let anything happen that mess it up.  She can’t let him get away.  I can’t say CH is for real but at one point I got so desperate about having a baby that I thought Ice would be OK  just to have a baby with not to be married or anything like that.  Maybe it is OK to have a baby with CH?  CH is constantly testing me.  He haven’t really invest much into me.  I wonder if he really going to move here???  He must be joking. No flowers, no trips,(just talks)  no fancy dinner, no stuff toys, no givings.  We didn’t see each other for month.  I feel like waking up again.Cold hard reality set in. 

Never a dull moment at DGM. Stephy went to the hospital with gull stones.  SHe have to have it cut off because it is so infected.  She won’t be back for a while which doesn’t matter much to me if it is like she helps me out at all/??????   Last week she refuse to put up the schedule.  When does she promotes herself to be the boss.  She said we have 3 people in the back and should just do it.  I don’t think so the intern already is a handful. We have to correct what she does wrong.  Things are misplace and today I found a non-sterile pack on the tray and in the clean side already.  She can’t even sterilize the instru let alone doing anything useful.  Jo-ann blame Christie for mixing it up for her. Gee what a stabber already.  I won;t let her clean up after me.  But she didn’t even take the intr out of outrasonics.  All day she just walk around and ask if she can do anything but when she sees things to do she ran off somewhere.She asks a lot of stuff but never listens.  She is not smart and lazy.

Suzan helps me did this temp cr that I builded up IRM too high.  I have no sense of occusions.  Ahhhhhh, the sandwishes at the subway where I work have very little meat.  It is bigger then the ones I got at boards. Taste good and the bread is bigger and you can choose which bread that you want and what goes on,  definitely the other stuff is bigger then the ones at boards.  But the special will be the same every thurs though. 

The cops arrested people at our bathroom.  There were 6 guys having sex in there.  Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel

They were lure by the post at CL.  There were guys who were well dressed have a wife and never guess will do this kind of things.  They are the ones who cries and tell the cop not to arrest them. Yuck! The person who calls saw 3 guys doing it out right in front and he calls the cops.

I am truely happy for MOni, we talk about weddings all day.  We look at the wedding magazine and the dresses and rings and she wants me to be her brides maid Wow, it seems like a dream.  Moni was smiling all day and she said she feels like she knows him for ages.  And they talk all night until 3 in the morning. I wish I have that with CH.  I didn’t feel bad when I didn’t get flowers from CH but now I do.  Moni got hers already, he bough her wine for her bd and he drove her home and making plans for them, and so much to talk about.  Now I feel lefted out. I know Ch for so long and I don’t feel that. 

SHe will cook for him and wow so romantic………………………………………………he calls her often.  He calls her at work and when ever , especially when we are going to work.  He can pick us up .  He have been driving this bus for ages and Moni is just 2 blocks from there and they only like 2 ships sailing in the night. She should thank me for push her to see him. She though he is just a driver but he is a nice guy……

Ch said he once work for the government.  I said hook up their phones. He said not. I think he can be the whistle blower or something.  He is secretive.  I may have to get a background ch on him if we ever get serious.  He still talk about getting hitch with me.  His bd is May 9!!!!!!!!!dont’ forget if we are still together.

Bad day to be a receptionist at Dr C’s.  Cheyle cancel a 3 hrs apt.  How dare her!  There is no way that I can put someone in there and I just filled May’s empty spot.  I called everyone from the 1 month that has op and none can come or can’t reach no current # not even answering machine.  I even dug up cold case but this time no luck. Arrrr, he pays me thought.  Hummmn  May is a brat tells me to sterilize, I was up to my neck from digging and took calls from wackos.  I made 1 mistake yesterday and re-enter the credit 2X.  That is why I was reluctant to help them out, because I know that it is way too tough and next to impossible to fill that schedule and that is my prioity. 

CH said he wants to rent a place and be in SF for me and take the job.  He is talking from his butt because he haven’t given notice yet.  He is still working like he wants to be there.  I don’t want him to quit for me, I want him to quit for himself for his own santity.  Anyway, I am not the kind you can promise and string along. 

I am dreaming about the Moni thing could happen to me?  One day he’ll just drop from the sky.  See Moni is a very pretty black lady.  She has honey color almond shape eyes.  Her features are balance perfect porportions.  Nice teeth and so on.  The only draw back is her huge butt.  I just don’t know why until now 42 that she has never been even married 1X.  I hope I get to marry once.  

Moni has the mot romantic first date with my bus driver Tommy! He is a perfect gentleman.  I can never talk about CH with Moni because mine is no where in comparison.  Now I am jealous, I will have to trade in CH,.

It was Moni’s BD, Tommy bough wine to drink at a very nice resturant with a view by the window at waterfroint.  They talk and talk until 3 am at Treasure Island. They heard the club music even was far out as that .  Next day Tommy called to pick her up and they went to a movie and he took her to his house.  Moni is perfectly careful about a stranger.  He drove a Porche! have a gorgeous home, and clean and have nice cloths. Very open shows her his family photos, tells her everything that she asks. He said he is serious about her, he is looking for a wife not a gf!!!!ISn’t he a dream man?  Moni and I have ours mouths open all morning talking about Tommy………………………….I feel a kind of a pank of pain like why can;t CH and I have that.

I think CH is stringing me along.  I want to get away from him to someone I can open up to and him to me.  He is promiseing me a lot of things that I don’t think it will deliver.  He haven’t give notice but he keeps saying he is coming to live in SF. Where have I heard that before??  I waited for AM to do that for a long time.  He even say he wants to buy a house with me, or invest in a rental property but of course it is something to string me a long. ANd I am sick of hearing it. 

On the work front, Karen is trying to buy out Moni because she is so out spoken and always talk back.  Since it is her bd she bough Moni a cake and flowers too like she and her are buddies.  Well, Moni was happy but very suspicious and it has to be a lot more to buy her out.

When he didn’t call it seems the end of the world. SInce when I got so sentimental again?  He called around 2 on Sun.  We suppose to be meeting up at 12.  I guess we are not going out if he is calling me from work.  He said there are things that need to be done.  He called again at 7:30 when he is making dinner/breakfast toasted Eggos.  He lighted candles.  Gee, maybe I was all wrong about him being a ladies man, he does have a very romantic side.  He lights candles even when he is alone and I did the same.  IN cold winter days nothing is better then a warm candle.  Yup a whole weekend gone.  I didn’t even go to San Mateo’s Expo but I look into the booths and they are the same as the ones in Chinatown fairs so not too special and there are no free gifts or anything like that.  My myself is just not fun at all. 

I got 1 thing sq away. I did the repeats on that evil Shawl! I tried and tried and even rip to the neck base of it to redo the whole thing and it works better, I knitted back up to my first repeat.  It is easier if you think about where to put the YO’s.  If you didn’t and just count st, you’ll be wrong and the center st have to be where you want it and I forgot a set of YO which is bad.  Now it does look pretty good.   The day lights helps a lot. If I did it at night it will be all wrong. 

Dad pull out my lavender, geraniums, and most of all my honey suckles.  My red cocosimia is gone!!!!!I love that plant.   Maybe I have to work on CH some more.  If he gets a job here, I want to move in with him.  At least away from Dad’s bad temper and him biggering about every non-exsist problems.  MY plants are so precious to me. I am lost,angry and even beyong that now.  Bro’s rent is more then $500 for a dam room in the basement with out your own kitchen???  He didn’t say how much but it is in the range of $600 not worth it…….if it has a kitchen then I say OK. 

I was waiting for him to call me since yesterday. He said he has work to do today and he didn’t call me fri night knowing I never call him on a fri.  With Ch is a always ups and downs.  Just when you are happy with him, he’ll suddenly disappear or pull a fast one on you.  I guess I am not going to see him this weekend.  I was really looking forward to it.   He calls me everyday since he was in NY, why all of a sudden disappear and before the day we suppose to go out.  Hummm?  Last time we named a day too, but it is the day after he came back from NY so I know he has a lot to do to settle back down but what’s with him this time?

Last night I dream about something related to weddings, my wedding?!  It is about picking a ring or what ever details with invole a wedding.  And Wynonna Ryder, what happen to that girl that was the”it” girl for the longest time, like Johnny Dep an idol of my time.  I woke up just simply exhausted.  Last week was a dozzy.  I got to be the front dest, juggling that killer schedule, new group of ID3,  then handling the intern and of course OS drama.  CH’s been talking about moving to SF like AM did and get me all excited and all worked up.  taking me to see his Dad.  See, I was happy for a couple of days.  But now back to the ” I don’t know ” section of my heart. 

I am humming” What are you going to do for the rest of your life” song that I heart on the TV.

I did have that warm and fuzzy feeling with CH so did with AM but it doesn’t matter at the end when it just falls apart by itself.

Dr C looks unhappy for a long time now.  There is something that is bothering her.  I have not seen her so lost.  I know she has man problems like all the singles that I know but that never gets her down too much but this is something serious.  I think more work related then anything else.  I over heard she talks to Dr S and her about a meeting after her morning surgery.  Something about Perio residents sending pt in and without something and of course something goes wrong. All morning she keeps asking me to hook up that O2.  It was hot and 1 pt throws up, you don’t hook up someone while they want to hurl.  It was just so disgusting.  It was mostly blood that she swollow.  We lost her X-rays too.  It was a current one and somehow lost it from the front desk to the chart room. Oh, god. It is incompetence like that I hate,  it is impossible to have things undercontrol.  I know front is a disaster zone.  Jacky is back and I am sorry to say she cause a lot of those disasters.  pt was waiting too and I appologized so many times.  They are pregnant women, old ladies, diabetics wanting to faint.  This man complains at the front desk and then he fainted, we have to use the blue cart.  The man was pushy.  This woman who needs knee surgery was waited even longer and she didn’t get seen problemly 3 hrs after her apt time.   I can only do so much to help them.  Dr C is not helping us.  If she doesn’t do those consults then we may be OK but she wants to proves to main campus that she can earn like the boyz. Last week, when I was with Marj, the pt said she swear she will never come back.

The more I talk to Ch the more I like him.   He calls me everyday. Wow, and we talk for hrs like after midnight and still can’t hang up.  If I am not wrong then I am in love with him and i try very hard not to.

Maybe he was rich once and now have nothing.  He was in managing position, project manager and then director of Nortel. He said he took the job for SF, we’ll see if he really leaves that job that he hates.  Then I’ll see him very often.   Last time at the rose garden was so romantic, like a Ck commercial, it was wonderful with wind in my hair and that is what I want in my life.  He asks again about going to see his Dad in Dallas.  I wonder if all he asks for true. Wait until I meet his folks then I’ll know if he is serious about me.  He asks me where to go for honeymoon, I say Tiajuna. 

Found Lost on the net.

I can’t stand missing it.  I am hooked.  I see the character Locke a lot like myself who is gullible, and wants to believe and try not to believe or want to believe in others or myself.  It is a constant struggle.  How deeply he was hurt by his Dad makes me cry, again and again. How can we not have hope? I want to be scared and be puzzled.  That is why I work out with CH I guessed.

The trainee from Bryman is the dirts.  I thought Filipinnas are nice and hard working obediant but this one is stuck up and don’t listen or follow directions.  She talks back.  I ask her not to put things sepretately, it waste out sterile pouch.  She said this is the way the school teach her, I siad well this is not in school.  She said she is only an intership.  I said you only need to look in the cabinite or where we put the instrucments, that we have no pounch on any of stuff, dumb ass. I didn’t say that out loud but I was thinking this is your 3 day and you still can’t follow directions and remember anything.  She makes Eka mad.  She gets in my way.  Not smart at all but thinks she is the bomb she said her Mom has land in the Philipines and her husband wants to manage a resturant but she fail to mention she lives in the Tenderloins where the hookers lives.

Suz made me pork chops but I think she had too much and can’t eat it anymore.  It is hard and too salty . I don’t think she is ever a bad cook but I ate the whole thing, don’t want to waste it.

 

Lost was the word. Didn’t ge to seeing the entire LOST episol because so many people call me,  Grazy still can’t get over all of the jerks that she went out with.  Honestly she doesn’t know a good guy from a bad.

Suz called to say she made lunch for me.  MAy called to remind me to bring the bleaching trays.  Then CH calls to say we should go to Dallas but he always gives me empty promises.  I think he changes his mind very oftem.  HE was freaking out that his credit was no good and they won’t hire him.  Well can’t cry about that . He was angry for nothing.  He yell at the cat and I caugh him doing that .  I told him the cat is being a cat.  He calmed down.  I told him I should hang up before he gets angry again.